Mark Wahlberg Inadvertantly Causes Philadelphia Financial Collapse

In a recent report published on Philly.com, over 40 restaurants have been ordered to cease and desist after Mark Wahlberg, in a stunning act of humility, and in an effort to promote his new restaurant: Wahlburgers, spent his weekend giving back to the less fortunate by selling burgers to mostly homeless college students at the popular Food Truck in the Northern Liberties section of Philadelphia.

In an EIASC exclusive interview, an anonymous employee describes the general atmosphere as being “He just kept telling us we can make bigger profit margins by not using water, soap, or gloves. He advised us that most Philadelphia restaurants do this and that we shouldn’t worry about it. The word quickly spread, and now we’re all being shut down.”

“Surely, we believe Wahlbergs appearance put Philadelphia food quality under a magnifying glass. We think he plotted to disrupt the business in our city so Wahlburgers can become a fiscal monopoly after it’s grand opening.”

“Most people in this great city don’t care about standard health protocols. That’s what makes us Philadelphia.”

Read more about the story here: http://mobile.philly.com/beta?wss=/philly/health&id=367845071&#hJ2MobhCk7AIQoiw.99

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